Your Virtual Christmas Gift

Dear Friends:

I'm not one to envy, but if I had Oprah's money, it would sure be fun to Christmas shop!

For fashion loving Karen, I would buy a life size mannequin, to dress up, curl her hair, and put on fancy makeup.
Jim knows he would get a few rare gold coins to add to his collection, and Wayne would ride in a private plane to view some of the construction jobs he once worked on.

I think I would make sure Marion had some time backstage at Bold and Beautiful and Young and Restless. Wouldn't that be cool? (Sujata, I would send you on this trip, too.)
Ole Everett just needs a reality TV producer to show up and begin filming his 24 hour show. What a blast it would be to watch that program!

I bet Janet would appreciate a nonstop flight from the Glover parking lot to her Connecticut family's driveway, with several trips made daily.

Bev would be happy with a shorter shuttle....curb to curb from the front door to Hoagie's (and maybe Foxwoods??) that runs on the hour. And a purse full of cash for the trip.

Sadie might enjoy another special dinner dance, in a gorgeous dress and hairdo. And Roberta, a trip to the pet shop, with lots of time to cuddle all the critters. (I wonder how many and what she'll bring home?)

Carolyn, and probably Ruth, would like to live in their own homes again.
Calvin might enjoy a tour of fine restaurants, traveling by limousine.

Looking at the beaches here, I am guessing Shirley would like to feel invigorated by spending another winter in Florida.

Frances, do you think a trip to a bookstore with plenty of money to buy some pretty books would be fun?

Roy might like as afternoon at a truck dealership, and a chance for a nice test drive.

A shopping spree in a handbag store would be my gift to Marjorie. And I think a special private craft class would delight Audrey. For Marian the Native American, a long walk in the woods and a chance to see a lot of deer would be my gift. And maybe sleeping out under the stars.

Miss Ethel, perhaps a trip back in time, with all 10 of your children sitting around the breakfast table?

Roger might like a Big Game Hunt. And Bobby and Jordan, wouldn't you also like an adventure? For John, a fine game of golf on a beautiful course would be perfect.

Who wouldn't be thrilled to be restored to health and youthful energy? Ed, Bob, Rena and Ken, for sure. For Jason, I would buy a miracle.

For Bernadette, Alvira, Gloria and the rest of the crowd, I would love to grant your heart's desire.

Reading my shopping list, it is probably easy to understand why I envy Oprah her bank account. But since her accounts will never be mine, fulfilling this shopping list has to be virtual, in my heart only.

For those receiving just virtual gifts from me, I want you to know one important fact: my shopping list was born out of my love for you. So, while you won't receive any customized gift, you can be certain my love has already been sent.

Are You Living By Remote Control?

I keep remembering your voice. Subdued? Down? Depressed?

I know that voice, as it has been part of my life at different times. I can still hear it in my head at times, though I have made it my Practice to not give it any power, or believe it is Real.

In India, I learned the difference between happiness and joy.

For many years in the early 2000s, I had a low grade depression going all the time. I couldn't identify why I felt this way, though I had lots of theories about who to blame and what needed to be different.

Some friends insisted I go with them to a Paula White revival, a giant event held in Tampa at a sports stadium. Do you know Paula White? She is perhaps 40, and had a life of HELL (on all levels) before she was born again. She specializes in pumping people up, injecting them with Jesus, getting them out of their Blue Funks.

But as I stood there, listening to some great black gospel music and swaying with the crowd, I knew my depression was still with me. Even Paula White couldn't shake me out of it.

Studying with some of the living masters in India (I concept we don't have in the West, that is, people who are considered Divine contemporaries. We think of Jesus as the only one in our culture, and he is long gone) I learned a giant principle. This principal echoed a teaching I learned while studying Sivananda Yoga: I AM BLISS, BLISS I AM. What I learned is that the true nature of human being is JOY. The best evidence I have of this truth is babies. See how naturally joyous they are? Remember what you would do to get your babies to smile or giggle? How did you know you would be able to get them to respond with JOY? Because, that was their being, that was what was inside them. The nature of human being is Pure Abundant Joy.

What happens is that all of the stuff that is happening around us, from day to day, begins to dull us, fatigue us, wear us down. We begin to identify with what is going on Out There, rather than In Here. We let the nasty opinions, rude behavior and unfairnesses of others begin to define how we feel. We surrender our power, we give away our peace, and become remote controlled by external factors. You know all of these factors in your life.

"So now what?" you ask.

Just wake up to this awareness, and life shifts in an Extraordinary Way.

You remember you are Bliss Absolute, and just like the babies, you have JOY at your center.

This Joy is not the same as the happiness that can come from a good cup of coffee, crispy potato chips or a new outfit. That stuff is just the manmade highs that we seek to distract ourselves from the pain of remote control living.

Can you see the difference between Joy and Happiness?

JOY is who you are. There is no more need to seek it or yearn for it. All you have to do is acknowledge it and allow it to bubble up...it sits, waiting, deep within you. Remember, the Buddha taught us that, "Neither praise nor blame shall move me," as that is allowing the remote control living.

I pray this little lesson brings you immediate HOPE.

I love you!

Our Holiday Week

Like most Americans, we found ourselves sitting around a table for a giant feast today, giving thanks for our life of blessings.


Not only do we have a new home, but our new neighbors couldn't be kinder or more generous. Larry and Sandy fed us like royalty, then sent us home with enough leftovers to get us through the weekend.

We continue to work away on our new home. Before the Thanksgiving meal at 2 p.m., Thurmond finished putting the new towel racks, toilet seat and medicine cabinet in the front bedroom. I made rolls and took a nap out in the sunlight, at poolside. And we had our fair share of phone calls with friends and family, reminding us that our relationships are the greatest treasures we possess.

A few shots from our album...

Lapdog with Laptop

Our Cindygirl is enjoying her Southern lifestyle.

I caught her emailing girlfriends back in Vermont, sitting at my laptop.

Her message is mine, too. We send our love and prayers to all family and friends this holiday week. To our friends outside the US who don't celebrate Thanksgiving, we earnestly pray you have plenty of good food and are living in a safe place with people who love you.

Wednesday is also our 19th wedding anniversary. When Rev. Asa Sprague performed our wedding November 25, 1990, in Montpelier, Vermont, Thurmond and I could never have imagined we would be celebrating in Florida in 2009. One of life's many blessings.

What a difference a week makes!

We woke to another blue sky and continue to feel like we need to pinch ourselves, asking, "Is this real?"

While the work of settling into our Florida home has been exhausting (every surface has to be washed!) we sense that, "this is the right place and the right time for our lives."

Friday, when we went to the Salvation Army to buy some furniture, the sign said, "25 percent off furniture today." See what I mean?

When paying for some lovely oil paintings at the Hospice Thrift Shop, the cashier said, "Of course, pictures are 20 percent off today." Of course. Today, we'll hang some of these landscapes, painted by an artist we need to learn about named Ruth Stump. Vertical blinds for windows are on order.

I got myself this enormously comfortable and colorful chair and ottoman, which we call The Peacock Throne. I accept the title and the duties herein....

Thurmond is liking his equally huge couch, he is tucked under a little lap robe now, taking a morning nap. We found a companion easy chair of the same style to round out the room. Still waiting for our TV to arrive, but the cable is in, which is how I can write you today.

We've had no time for watching television anyway; I joke it won't arrive until all the ceilings and walls are washed, and we have one more room to go.

In another hour, we go to the community hall for coffee and donuts, a weekly get together. We are giving ourselves a break and heading over, before returning to more washing, painting, organizing. To think, a week ago at this moment, we were on the New York Northway, heading south.

We are singing heartfelt prayers of gratitude and thanksgiving. Oh, one more thing. Our neighbor Larry, a retired cook to an Army general, has invited us for Thanksgiving. See what I mean?

Living in Love; How I Work for Peace

The mini war in Fort Hood is no different than the bloody skirmishes over the past hundreds of years on dark Belfast street corners. This week's senseless killing in Texas is just like the random acts of violence in Indian marketplaces and tech parks, where bombs take the lives of innocents. Wherever, whenever we hear of such shootings, our hearts ache over the insanity of it all...the families ripped apart, the holes torn in the lives of mothers, wives, children, husbands, fathers.

Hearing of this latest carnage, I again ask, "What can I do?"

After tears and prayer and silent sadness, I find comfort and direction in the same answer that has propelled me forward for many years:

I must live in love, be the presence of kindness wherever I am. We need to resist the urge to argue ourselves into separate polar positions. What value can come from our black and white views....keeping us from finding common ground and peaceful compromises?

Last Wednesday, we held a formal dance at the little health care facility I work in; an evening of live music and dancing. Three local businesses donated fancy gowns and suits for anyone who wanted to get dressed up. We had a ball!

My dear husband Thurmond wore his tuxedo and danced with the ladies, including me. We all had a great time, and offered up our evening of happiness as a small gesture to help tip the world back in balance. Making peace seems more important than ever, doesn't it?

Following the Sun, Again

We woke into November this morning; the thermometer reads 42 F, the clock had to be set back an hour, as we obey the rules of daylight savings time. Our trees are all leafless, and the gold needles of the tamarack coat the pond.

Like geese, we are preparing to leave northern Vermont for the season.

Yesterday, I made the last trip into town to leave our indoor plants for the winter in safe, warm places. Last week, Thurmond transferred about a dozen aloes, spider plants and cacti to Matt and Annica, a lovely young couple who just bought their first home. Our home will be cold and lifeless, as we have chosen Florida for a season. I left our eight foot Norfolk Island Pine Tree at the Barton Public Library (how did this tree get to live my fantasy?) the Christmas cactus, feathery fern and blooming pink vine have spread out in our local banker's big office with the giant window.

When I started leaving for Florida or India each December, our 25 year old cactus began blooming at Thanksgiving, so I could still enjoy her show. This year, she became a Halloween cactus, in full bloom when I deposited her at the bank; how did she know we would be on the road November 14?

Sadness flowed through me as I moved the plants. Not because I am worried about how they will survive the winter or even how I will live without them creating the indoor environment. The sadness was about what the Buddha taught us, about creating our own suffering through attachment. My possession of beauty was now making me sad, because I no longer possess it.

Does this mean our very pursuit of beauty and happiness leads us, inevitably, back to where we started, yearning for beauty and happiness?

I think so. And I think the only way out of this "chasing one's own tail" is to love and appreciate the moment we are in, fully and completely, without any expectations about ongoing ownership or relationship. Now is where it's at.

And soon, our Now will be at Orangewood Lakes, where more trees and plants will bring us beauty and breath. That's what is so wonderful about the Present, we are always provided for.

Closed for the Season

I've just hung up my sign, "Closed for the Season."
What's closing?

My desire to blog.

What's the Season?

The undefined period of time I will not be posting.

Thank you, dear readers, for your attentive and loving support of my writing and my work. I encourage you to consider creating your own blog...a most incredible experience, which, also incredibly, is free. Thank you, Google, for the gift of blogspot.

Let me know if you do open a blog...I just might pop in and leave a comment.

Much love to all on this May Day. May peace prevail on Earth, and let it begin in our lives today. Bethany

The World Welcomes President Obama's Leadership

Thanks to my friend, Bubloo Sen, I am speaking to women's groups this weekend in Bangalore, on the American electoral process and how we came to elect Barack Obama as our 44th president.

Given the worldwide reach of CNN and other cable news networks, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Indian citizens are so tuned into the nuances of the Obama campaign. Everyone seems familiar with the Chicago sea of faces celebrating victory on election night and the gathering of three million Americans for the January inaugural.

But listening to Indian women talk about the US election of the first president of color, I became aware of an important distinction: their interest in President Obama's win is not simply because of media coverage, or because of Obama's color. They, like those of us who voted for this remarkable man, are drawn by HIS MESSAGE.

For years, America has been the promised land for those seeking material comforts. Obama's campaign message was not about comfort or consumption, and we all were relieved. All world citizens are hungering for a message about community, service, sharing and protecting resources. Americans are tired of the American Dream that is little more than the Pursuit of Stuff.

After my Friday night program, a new friend named Bulbul said I had "Confirmed what I believed" about the leap America made in selecting a new President. Like me, she is hopeful and excited that the US has moved to another level of living....where resources are more equitably distributed, where we take decisions and actions based on similiarities not differences and our attention is focused on "We" not "Me."

Yes We Can.

Happy Nursing Mother's Day

A couple of weeks ago, I saw an article on the internet that provided me with the only reason I can think of to wear an under wire bra:

DETROIT (Reuters) - A 57-year-old Detroit woman avoided serious injury when the under wire on her bra deflected a bullet shot at her from next door, police said.

The woman, who lives on the West side of Detroit, saw a group of men breaking into a neighbor's house on Tuesday morning. When the men spotted her, one of them fired a shot at her, a police spokesman said.

The bullet struck the under wire on the woman's bra and that saved her from a more serious injury, police said.

"It did slow the bullet down," said Detroit police spokesman Phillip Cook. "She sustained injuries but they're not life threatening."

The woman, who was not identified, was treated at a nearby hospital. The suspects in the shooting drove away.

While breast cancer is a major killer of women worldwide (400,000 annually) we still don’t know what causes it.   Close to 40,000 women die in the U.S. every year from it.

I wonder about tight bras, especially ones with wires, causing lymph to pool and sit, full of waste and toxins, in the fatty breast tissue.  The lymphatic system is the body’s sewer system.  It is meant to flow, to pull all that is no longer of value from our cells, tissues, organs, and blood and dispose of it!

What if, in the name of glamour, women are unknowingly creating a dirty, scummy poisonous pond on the chest?

Beyond my suspicions around the under wire’s link to cancer, I am sorry any woman consciously chooses to wear something so uncomfortable.  In my thirties, when I thought I was my breasts, I owned a few of these torture devices.  Ask any woman who wears one, she’ll tell you one of the main reasons she hurries home each night is to free herself from its strangling clutches.

All last week, though I doubt it was an intentional build up to Mother’s Day, the media obsessed on Miss California’s breasts: first, that they were man made and paid for by donations, and secondly, that she sorta, kinda bared them for a camera.  Is it really against pageant law to showoff your silicone?

Am I the only person who remembers the life giving purpose of breasts?  Not for pushing up or out, photographing or filming.  Mammary glands are for feeding babies.  Ask any of those wonderful lactation consultants who help young mothers.

On this Mother’s Day, I thank my own mother for nursing me, giving me such a great, healthy start on this Earth.  I thank my now grown son, for the privilege of feeding him the same way, launching him into the world with strong immunity and an excellent ability to heal.      May more babies spend time on their mothers’ breasts.   And may the media and under wire bra manufacturers let breasts be!

Click here for more about the momma and baby camels pictured.