Sunday In Quebec

For the past four summers, I have been invited by the lovely folks of the Unitarian Universalist Church of North Hatley, Quebec, to preach about my Indian winter. Today was my annual Sunday service, and my father, Roger Greeley, and I drove up. I led the program, and he gave the closing words. At the request of some parishioners, I am posting the notes I used for my talk here.

My Indian winter is a Life Laboratory. An environment to think about what is most important, without any established support system. For six months, I choose to “shake it up,” to increase the number of times I say, “huh?” each day. In India, I work at making sense of it all.

In fact, in January, with the help of Morgan, my dear and patient American friend, I started a blog (WEBLOG) to do just that. To make sense of what was happening each day, to look at life in a new way, and learn more about myself in the process.

In the first week…
1. ate pink Banyan leaves
2. watched cows graze on a golf course
3. walked through a blue-green forest of eucalyptus…
These early experiences assured me that I was in for some great moments! And lessons.

One ongoing truth that India teaches me year after year is the definition of happiness, “Gracefully accepting the realities of life.” Yet another way of defining it is, “Expectations make us sorrowful.”

Winter 2007-08 was the year I saw clearly my design is to love not judge, myself and others. I came to believe, at age 56, the answer to the question I’ve been actively asking since age 15 is that, “Our design is to love. That is what it means to be human being.” Yes, my family taught it, my father preached it, often quoting the words of Robert Green Ingersoll, “The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, the way to be happy is to help make others so.” But, I had to learn this for myself, deep in my bones.

Many Indian teachers are living masters. A living master is not a concept that makes sense to the Western world, the idea of meeting a person who is part of an ancient lineage of saints and sages.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is such a man, with ashrams around the world. In his work, he asks, “Do you live your life as a game or a war? Both are done for the same reason, the sake of joy. In one case, joy is the way. In the other, joy is the goal.” This living master teaches that the difference between these two approaches constituents the difference being living as an enlightened being or an unenlightened one. Whichever vantage point we elect defines how we take each event, each moment and move forward.

Another way of describing these two Ways of Being is to ask, “Is your life about being, love and bliss or anger, fear and need?” (A regular question I pose to those who visit me for yoga therapy is, “What throws you out of bed in the morning? If it is fear, stay in bed until you can feel love throw you out, even if it takes two weeks!”) When we speak of being, we mean living in the present. As Raj, one of my dearest new friends in India likes to say, “The past is history, the future is mystery, the present is a present, to enjoy the gift.” Raj also would remind me, when I would whine to him about someone’s mean or cruel behavior, “We are the LAST ones to criticize others.”

Sorting out motivations or the way we sift through our daily moments, I can see two distinct lists:
Loving versus Judging….and all their cousins
For me, love means
Be with
Serve
Care and be kind
Celebrate
Honor
Share and listen
Befriend
Laugh with
Accept
Question
Support
Enjoy
Grow
Be honest with
Forgive
On the other hand, judge means
Dislike or worse
Criticize
Gossip about
Ignore
Neglect
Dismiss
Attach
Demonize
Resist
Lie to
Patronize
Opine about how things “should be”
Feud
Hold grudges

Regardless of where we are, India, North Hatley, Glover, Vermont or parts unknown, making sense of what is happening and the part we play is a weighty challenge. The Jesuit mystic, Thomas Merton, wrote, “If one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy. It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking. Perhaps there is nothing to figure out at all: perhaps we only need to wake up.”

To mark the New Year, my friend, Sujata, and I traveled to Sri Lanka on a Buddhist pilgrimage. There, we visited ancient temples, to meditate, contemplate 2008 and make our individual resolutions. As the temple priest tied a sacred thread on my wrist, I silently wished that, “I will cause no misery for myself or others.” I know myself too well to simple resolve, “I will only love.” I am far too human, full of opinions and judgments. After all, the mind is faster than the speed of light, though often not as illuminating!

Within the Vedic tradition (the ancient scriptures of India and Hinduism) time was measured in twinkles of an eye. For example, 15 twinkles is one kashta, 30 kashtas one kala; 30 kalas one muhurt; 30 muhurts, one day and one night.

I love the image of twinkle of an eye…not a blink, a twinkle. To measure a twinkle, it seems one would have to really look into another person’s eyes and see them. And once we’ve done that, it is quite difficult to do anything but love them, don’t you think?

Living Means Giving

On a rare sunny day last week, my friend and ward, Debbie Thompson Larose and I set off for Morrisville, Vermont, where we were to walk in the Relay for Life. A nationwide American observance, Relay for Life supports cancer survivors and raises awareness about cancer. My friend, Lucy Fogg, an 11 year survivor of breast cancer, had invited us to walk with her. (L to R, me, Deb and Lucy.)

On the drive to Morrisville, Debbie spotted a television for sale on a lawn. As her TV had been fried during a big storm that week, she wanted to buy a replacement. "I would like $50 for the TV and VCR," the seller, Diane, told us. Debbie had $35 to spend.

"We will stop at the end of the day, after we come back from Relay for Life, and maybe, if the TV hasn't sold, you will consider Deb's $35. OK, Diane?" I said.

"You are going to Relay for Life? Well, then. Please donate $20 when you get there, and Debbie, I will give you the TV and VCR," Diane said.

Debbie and I blessed and thanked Diane, and loaded the treasure into the car.

At the Walk, Debbie was told her $20 would buy four luminaries, the paper bags with a candle inside. Deb decorated them as a tribute to Lucy and then we walked.

What a grand day of goodness we had. Everyone was so happy...Deb, Diane, Lucy, Bethany. Our cups runneth over.

Being a Loving Operative

A friend and I were trying to schedule a visit last week, when she said, "I don't want this to feel like work for you, I know how many people you see." Chris's comments got me thinking.

Do I feel burdened or tired out by being with others?

No! In fact, at 57 years of age, I only do what I want these days. When I say "YES!" to you, it is because I mean it. So, this month, I am having fun helping my friend Dave plant his giant garden (he talked of 2500 lettuce plants, I think we will settle for 500) teaching Jack and Doe yoga in their yard, beside their gorgeous azaleas and advising Sam Young on his upcoming gubernatorial campaign.

Today, I hosted a Day of Refreshment for Women, where participants discussed such issues as how to discern the next step in our life, how to know when we are serving out of compassion vs. compulsion and how to be brave enough to be vulnerable.

Monday, a wonderful woman came for the day, for massage and lunch. Tuesday, I gave another massage, and received this message from 'the body': "That was just what I needed, thank you. Feel much lighter and glad in my body today, got up before everyone, took a tub and stretched, also wrote in my journal for the first time in a long time. Thank you, B! Was good to hear about India, and you. I am glad you are back in the neighborhood."

How can I possibly consider any of this work? I am having such fun.
Last month, when I was briefly in London's Heathrow Airport between flights, I saw a man sweeping the terminal with a big plastic sign taped on his back. "CLEANING OPERATIVE" is what it said.

I'm pretty sure he was what we refer to in the US as a custodian or janitor, sometimes called a "sanitation engineer." I wondered if he liked being referred to as a CLEANING OPERATIVE?

Following his lead, I guess you could call me a "LOVING OPERATIVE."

Saturday Records...90 degrees and a Bear!

Northern Vermont finally received the hot weather we've been waiting for...90 plus degrees worth! Thurmond and I paddled our canoe out into Lake Memphremagog, to Rising Sun, our lovely old sailboat. Moored in a private and cozy cove, the boat is a great getaway. In the distance, we heard lawnmowers, as virtually everyone with a lawn scurried to mow today...as it was finally warm and dry.
Back home after 7 p.m., Thurmond hopped on his riding mower to get control of our tall grass, while I called Elliot, our son. Suddenly, I heard a thumping I couldn't figure out...where was it coming from? HEY! A BLACK BEAR WAS ON OUR SCREENED PORCH, WALKING AROUND. Elliot told me to take a video. AS I STARTED FILMING, OUR BEAR (HE OR SHE?) CAME UP ON HER HIND LEGS AND PEERED RIGHT INTO THE HOUSE.


Godcidentally, as I am posting this message, my husband sent me today's Daily Om, the subject is Bear Medicine. When we are awake to the Universe, such extraordinary moments are frequent and welcome.

Last fall, we had a lovely young female moose spend several days here on our land, munching down all the young apple trees and blueberry bushes. After we got over the loss of our orchard, we began to realize just how lucky we were to have such a visitor.

When wildlife presents itself, we are reminded that, in truth, we are the encroachers, the intruders. These woods are home to many species; we are just the most recent to take up residence. How wonderful it is to be able to share space with wild things, to live in harmony with them all. Mallards are raising their young in the pond. Goldfinches are at the feeder. Soon, the baby foxes will be running around the pond. We are blessed with such beautiful neighbors.

In June, We Think of December

Our beautiful green spring June day began with stacking wood.

Knowing the cold will return, this is the time we get our wood to feed the two stoves and one furnace that heat our Vermont home all the cold months of the year.

The truth is, it was cold enough today to have a small fire in our parlor stove!

Here's proof that I help with stacking close to 10 cords of wood drying for future days. We're told that people who heat with wood are, "three times warmed: once when the wood is cut, once when it is stacked, and once when sitting by the fire." Today was one such warming. (All of today's wood is stacked, will stack two more cords tomorrow....)