For the past four summers, I have been invited by the lovely folks of the Unitarian Universalist Church of North Hatley, Quebec, to preach about my Indian winter. Today was my annual Sunday service, and my father, Roger Greeley, and I drove up. I led the program, and he gave the closing words. At the request of some parishioners, I am posting the notes I used for my talk here.My Indian winter is a Life Laboratory. An environment to think about what is most important, without any established support system. For six months, I choose to “shake it up,” to increase the number of times I say, “huh?” each day. In India, I work at making sense of it all.
In fact, in January, with the help of Morgan, my dear and patient American friend, I started a blog (WEBLOG) to do just that. To make sense of what was happening each day, to look at life in a new way, and learn more about myself in the process.
In the first week…
1. ate pink Banyan leaves
2. watched cows graze on a golf course
3. walked through a blue-green forest of eucalyptus…
These early experiences assured me that I was in for some great moments! And lessons.
One ongoing truth that India teaches me year after year is the definition of happiness, “Gracefully accepting the realities of life.” Yet another way of defining it is, “Expectations make us sorrowful.”
Winter 2007-08 was the year I saw clearly my design is to love not judge, myself and others. I came to believe, at age 56, the answer to the question I’ve been actively asking since age 15 is that, “Our design is to love. That is what it means to be human being.” Yes, my family taught it, my father preached it, often quoting the words of Robert Green Ingersoll, “The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, the way to be happy is to help make others so.” But, I had to learn this for myself, deep in my bones.
Many Indian teachers are living masters. A living master is not a concept that makes sense to the Western world, the idea of meeting a person who is part of an ancient lineage of saints and sages.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is such a man, with ashrams around the world. In his work, he asks, “Do you live your life as a game or a war? Both are done for the same reason, the sake of joy. In one case, joy is the way. In the other, joy is the goal.” This living master teaches that the difference between these two approaches constituents the difference being living as an enlightened being or an unenlightened one. Whichever vantage point we elect defines how we take each event, each moment and move forward.
Another way of describing these two Ways of Being is to ask, “Is your life about being, love and bliss or anger, fear and need?” (A regular question I pose to those who visit me for yoga therapy is, “What throws you out of bed in the morning? If it is fear, stay in bed until you can feel love throw you out, even if it takes two weeks!”) When we speak of being, we mean living in the present. As Raj, one of my dearest new friends in India likes to say, “The past is history, the future is mystery, the present is a present, to enjoy the gift.” Raj also would remind me, when I would whine to him about someone’s mean or cruel behavior, “We are the LAST ones to criticize others.”
Sorting out motivations or the way we sift through our daily moments, I can see two distinct lists:
Loving versus Judging….and all their cousins
For me, love means
Be with
Serve
Care and be kind
Celebrate
Honor
Share and listen
Befriend
Laugh with
Accept
Question
Support
Enjoy
Grow
Be honest with
Forgive
On the other hand, judge means
Dislike or worse
Criticize
Gossip about
Ignore
Neglect
Dismiss
Attach
Demonize
Resist
Lie to
Patronize
Opine about how things “should be”
Feud
Hold grudges
Regardless of where we are, India, North Hatley, Glover, Vermont or parts unknown, making sense of what is happening and the part we play is a weighty challenge. The Jesuit mystic, Thomas Merton, wrote, “If one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy. It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking. Perhaps there is nothing to figure out at all: perhaps we only need to wake up.”
To mark the New Year, my friend, Sujata, and I traveled to Sri Lanka on a Buddhist pilgrimage. There, we visited ancient temples, to meditate, contemplate 2008 and make our individual resolutions. As the temple priest tied a sacred thread on my wrist, I silently wished that, “I will cause no misery for myself or others.” I know myself too well to simple resolve, “I will only love.” I am far too human, full of opinions and judgments. After all, the mind is faster than the speed of light, though often not as illuminating!
Within the Vedic tradition (the ancient scriptures of India and Hinduism) time was measured in twinkles of an eye. For example, 15 twinkles is one kashta, 30 kashtas one kala; 30 kalas one muhurt; 30 muhurts, one day and one night.
I love the image of twinkle of an eye…not a blink, a twinkle. To measure a twinkle, it seems one would have to really look into another person’s eyes and see them. And once we’ve done that, it is quite difficult to do anything but love them, don’t you think?
In fact, in January, with the help of Morgan, my dear and patient American friend, I started a blog (WEBLOG) to do just that. To make sense of what was happening each day, to look at life in a new way, and learn more about myself in the process.
In the first week…
1. ate pink Banyan leaves
2. watched cows graze on a golf course
3. walked through a blue-green forest of eucalyptus…
These early experiences assured me that I was in for some great moments! And lessons.
One ongoing truth that India teaches me year after year is the definition of happiness, “Gracefully accepting the realities of life.” Yet another way of defining it is, “Expectations make us sorrowful.”
Winter 2007-08 was the year I saw clearly my design is to love not judge, myself and others. I came to believe, at age 56, the answer to the question I’ve been actively asking since age 15 is that, “Our design is to love. That is what it means to be human being.” Yes, my family taught it, my father preached it, often quoting the words of Robert Green Ingersoll, “The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, the way to be happy is to help make others so.” But, I had to learn this for myself, deep in my bones.
Many Indian teachers are living masters. A living master is not a concept that makes sense to the Western world, the idea of meeting a person who is part of an ancient lineage of saints and sages.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is such a man, with ashrams around the world. In his work, he asks, “Do you live your life as a game or a war? Both are done for the same reason, the sake of joy. In one case, joy is the way. In the other, joy is the goal.” This living master teaches that the difference between these two approaches constituents the difference being living as an enlightened being or an unenlightened one. Whichever vantage point we elect defines how we take each event, each moment and move forward.
Another way of describing these two Ways of Being is to ask, “Is your life about being, love and bliss or anger, fear and need?” (A regular question I pose to those who visit me for yoga therapy is, “What throws you out of bed in the morning? If it is fear, stay in bed until you can feel love throw you out, even if it takes two weeks!”) When we speak of being, we mean living in the present. As Raj, one of my dearest new friends in India likes to say, “The past is history, the future is mystery, the present is a present, to enjoy the gift.” Raj also would remind me, when I would whine to him about someone’s mean or cruel behavior, “We are the LAST ones to criticize others.”
Sorting out motivations or the way we sift through our daily moments, I can see two distinct lists:
Loving versus Judging….and all their cousins
For me, love means
Be with
Serve
Care and be kind
Celebrate
Honor
Share and listen
Befriend
Laugh with
Accept
Question
Support
Enjoy
Grow
Be honest with
Forgive
On the other hand, judge means
Dislike or worse
Criticize
Gossip about
Ignore
Neglect
Dismiss
Attach
Demonize
Resist
Lie to
Patronize
Opine about how things “should be”
Feud
Hold grudges
Regardless of where we are, India, North Hatley, Glover, Vermont or parts unknown, making sense of what is happening and the part we play is a weighty challenge. The Jesuit mystic, Thomas Merton, wrote, “If one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy. It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking. Perhaps there is nothing to figure out at all: perhaps we only need to wake up.”
To mark the New Year, my friend, Sujata, and I traveled to Sri Lanka on a Buddhist pilgrimage. There, we visited ancient temples, to meditate, contemplate 2008 and make our individual resolutions. As the temple priest tied a sacred thread on my wrist, I silently wished that, “I will cause no misery for myself or others.” I know myself too well to simple resolve, “I will only love.” I am far too human, full of opinions and judgments. After all, the mind is faster than the speed of light, though often not as illuminating!
Within the Vedic tradition (the ancient scriptures of India and Hinduism) time was measured in twinkles of an eye. For example, 15 twinkles is one kashta, 30 kashtas one kala; 30 kalas one muhurt; 30 muhurts, one day and one night.
I love the image of twinkle of an eye…not a blink, a twinkle. To measure a twinkle, it seems one would have to really look into another person’s eyes and see them. And once we’ve done that, it is quite difficult to do anything but love them, don’t you think?
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