Saturday Night DreamCondoleezza Rice appeared in my dream last night! Given my long standing distaste for all things Condi, I really had to laugh. Whenever she appears on the TV news or in the newspaper, I have a standard rant: "She says the obvious! She never says a new idea! Her quotes are so flat, like, 'If there is a surge in violence, stability will be at risk.' Duh!"
So, when Condi came to Dreamland, I had to listen to her, because she says the obvious, the proven and accepted fact, right?
"Bethany, " she whispered in a courteous and kind, low voice, "I think you should sit down and be still." I ignored her, jumping up to greet friends as they came into a large gymnasium where we were all sitting, Condi included.
"Bethany," she gently persisted, "You can relax, take it easy." I continued to resist her advice, and even launched into a talk about how I was just excited to see people, and this was my personality and blah blah blah. Then, I looked into her eyes, I saw how much she knew me and cared about me.
Somehow, Condi morphed into my friend and landlady here in Bangalore, Sujata Naidu. I decided I would just relax and sit still. Which is how I spent today, and I loved it.
"Bethany, " she whispered in a courteous and kind, low voice, "I think you should sit down and be still." I ignored her, jumping up to greet friends as they came into a large gymnasium where we were all sitting, Condi included.
"Bethany," she gently persisted, "You can relax, take it easy." I continued to resist her advice, and even launched into a talk about how I was just excited to see people, and this was my personality and blah blah blah. Then, I looked into her eyes, I saw how much she knew me and cared about me.
Somehow, Condi morphed into my friend and landlady here in Bangalore, Sujata Naidu. I decided I would just relax and sit still. Which is how I spent today, and I loved it.
Reduce Craving for Food
A friend wrote about losing weight, and said that while he was exercising, as long as he overate, he, "continued to grow." When we end our craving for food, our obsession with food, our compulsive attention to food and eating, we not only find our sanity, but we reduce the power of all craving in our life. To limit our cravings and aversions is the beginning of true joyous living. Peace comes when food loses its grip on our psyche.
Sadness is My Illusion
Being committed to my skewed view of the world, the way I think things Should Be or how they Should Go is the shortest route to sadness. Who the heck am I to think that I have the best view or image of how things should be or go?? Do I actually believe I know how a person Should Act or Should Behave? Is it possible that the pain they are feeling is essential to their growth? Could there be something going on that I can’t see or understand?
Truly, my rigid expectations can cause me great sadness. I am disappointed by someone’s “perceived” lack of caring, by what I label a “mean spirit.” I then carry and bury these unhappy feelings, these negative emotions, which pile up and fill up my insides, creating a Sadness Reservoir.
Today, I pledge to stop the habit of labeling and classifying what I see. Rather, I will see it, as the tree sees me. As part of the majestic pulsating Oneness that eludes all of my tiny ego’s assessments and narratives. And in this simple pledge, I can end my need to carry sadness. I will accept what is as just that. Who am I to challlenge reality?
The Bonus: like the free steak knife set that comes with the purchase of a juicer, once I give up my need to Find Sadness, I can also discard my need to end sadness, fix sadness, and jolly friends, family and strangers out of sadness. Rather, I can be with the person as they go through their important process of healing from the inside out.
At my friend Bubloo’s this weekend, I had hoped her budding roses would be in bloom. After all, I had seen them last weekend. I expected a blossom Friday! But like the rest of life, the roses have their own time, outside of any immature, egocentric wish I may hold. So, I can now see others who are suffering with a tough situation as roses in bud. I play no role; I cannot rush them through to completion. We all have our path and our own pace.
A friend wrote about losing weight, and said that while he was exercising, as long as he overate, he, "continued to grow." When we end our craving for food, our obsession with food, our compulsive attention to food and eating, we not only find our sanity, but we reduce the power of all craving in our life. To limit our cravings and aversions is the beginning of true joyous living. Peace comes when food loses its grip on our psyche.
Sadness is My Illusion
Being committed to my skewed view of the world, the way I think things Should Be or how they Should Go is the shortest route to sadness. Who the heck am I to think that I have the best view or image of how things should be or go?? Do I actually believe I know how a person Should Act or Should Behave? Is it possible that the pain they are feeling is essential to their growth? Could there be something going on that I can’t see or understand?
Truly, my rigid expectations can cause me great sadness. I am disappointed by someone’s “perceived” lack of caring, by what I label a “mean spirit.” I then carry and bury these unhappy feelings, these negative emotions, which pile up and fill up my insides, creating a Sadness Reservoir.
Today, I pledge to stop the habit of labeling and classifying what I see. Rather, I will see it, as the tree sees me. As part of the majestic pulsating Oneness that eludes all of my tiny ego’s assessments and narratives. And in this simple pledge, I can end my need to carry sadness. I will accept what is as just that. Who am I to challlenge reality?
The Bonus: like the free steak knife set that comes with the purchase of a juicer, once I give up my need to Find Sadness, I can also discard my need to end sadness, fix sadness, and jolly friends, family and strangers out of sadness. Rather, I can be with the person as they go through their important process of healing from the inside out.
At my friend Bubloo’s this weekend, I had hoped her budding roses would be in bloom. After all, I had seen them last weekend. I expected a blossom Friday! But like the rest of life, the roses have their own time, outside of any immature, egocentric wish I may hold. So, I can now see others who are suffering with a tough situation as roses in bud. I play no role; I cannot rush them through to completion. We all have our path and our own pace.
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Bubloo awaits the Rose.Watching Someone You Love Suffer
Much of this awareness was triggered by an email from a friend, who spoke of a sibling’s painful divorce after a very brief marriage and a parent’s need to deal with alcoholism. Watching people we love suffer can be tough, we want to speed the healing, to help them move forward and stop aching. But again, the rose bud is our teacher. Yes, we can help create good conditions, providing a safe, warm, nourishing place to bloom. But there is no healthy way to rush the work that must be done. We can be the silent, loving witness. Awake to this truth: that there is nothing wrong with what is happening, no need to regret, grieve, fear or deny. It is what it is: reality. It is what so. So what?
Another friend wrote about her adult children all being “stuck. Hard to think I didn't raise them to be more adventurous or ambitious or something.” Again, we humans have such a propensity for sizing up and marking up ourselves and each other. Imagine if every caterpillar did this, while stuck in the cocoon? “How did I get into this? Why wasn’t I content eating leaves all day?”
Does the tree grieve the falling leaf? Does the sky resist the cloud, the day mourn the setting of the sun? I have come to find such comfort and wisdom in the natural world. Eckhart Tolle wrote this, in Stillness Speaks, “This is the miracle: behind every condition, person or situation that appears ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ has concealed a deeper good. The deeper good reveals itself to you---both within and without---through inner acceptance of what is.” That’s just what I’m learning.
Much of this awareness was triggered by an email from a friend, who spoke of a sibling’s painful divorce after a very brief marriage and a parent’s need to deal with alcoholism. Watching people we love suffer can be tough, we want to speed the healing, to help them move forward and stop aching. But again, the rose bud is our teacher. Yes, we can help create good conditions, providing a safe, warm, nourishing place to bloom. But there is no healthy way to rush the work that must be done. We can be the silent, loving witness. Awake to this truth: that there is nothing wrong with what is happening, no need to regret, grieve, fear or deny. It is what it is: reality. It is what so. So what?
Another friend wrote about her adult children all being “stuck. Hard to think I didn't raise them to be more adventurous or ambitious or something.” Again, we humans have such a propensity for sizing up and marking up ourselves and each other. Imagine if every caterpillar did this, while stuck in the cocoon? “How did I get into this? Why wasn’t I content eating leaves all day?”
Does the tree grieve the falling leaf? Does the sky resist the cloud, the day mourn the setting of the sun? I have come to find such comfort and wisdom in the natural world. Eckhart Tolle wrote this, in Stillness Speaks, “This is the miracle: behind every condition, person or situation that appears ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ has concealed a deeper good. The deeper good reveals itself to you---both within and without---through inner acceptance of what is.” That’s just what I’m learning.
Outside my bedroom window, two small cats come and play on the roof of a nearby shed. They sit for long periods of time staring at each other, as if looking into a mirror. A playful fight ensues, then they resume their stillness. I have enjoyed their time together, and feel quite certain neither has labeled the other.Tolle teaches us more:
“Suffering begins when you mentally name or label as situation as somehow undesirable or bad…Naming and labeling are habitual, but that habit can be broken. Start practicing ‘not naming’ with small things. If you miss the plane, drop and break a cup, or slip and fall in the mud, can you refrain from naming the experience as bad or painful? Can you immediately accept the ‘isness’ of that moment?
“Naming something as bad causes an emotional contraction within you. When you let it be, without naming it, enormous power is suddenly available to you.” Amen.
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