A Peaceful, Joyous 2009 Bouquet

Dear Ones:

As my Finnish friend RL says, "Have a good turning of the new year and a happy new year of 2009! We're in the midst of an adventure called life : ) !"

As my poet friend Morgan Brown writes,



"A Happy New Year Wish!

May the coming twelve months be much better for you and yours than was the case during this year.
Affording for greater opportunities and quality time to put painful or bad experiences within the past,
In an effort to plant and nurture seeds of charity, joy and hope where once existed loathing, grief and fear.
Thereby offering an inspiring example to help others keep faith in continuing on as well as to hold fast,
Working together to build communities with meaningful futures and better chances for them to last."

And as my husband, Thurmond says,

"Happy Obama New Year!"



I toast these three for expressing messages we all can call our own.

My prayer for 2009? May the new year bring abundant peace and prosperity, particularly to those little corners of the world so parched for good will, well being and hope. And may those of us who have been blest with bounty find more and more ways to share all that we have....most especially our love.



I am so thankful for my life, and the family and friends I love so fervently.

So Many Ways to Love

My young friend, Sumit, calls himself a "freelancer" on the streets of Delhi, his efforts devoted to those "helping those who are in need." His email reminded me of a letter once written by Mother Teresa, answering the question, "How did you start working with the dying?" She simply said, "I saw a dying person on the road, and I brought him home."

As we grow, we learn that service is neither difficult nor complicated. We just love.
For those whose service is to pray, I invite you to visit a wonderful site, Caring Bridge, and join the prayer support family for a 12 year old Minnesotan, Aaron Hullett. Just 12 years old, Aaron is recovering from two strokes. You can read more at Caring Bridge, and begin to lift up all in Aaron's circle.

If you live in the US, before the end of the year, consider making a charitable donation and get the added benefit of a tax write off. I have many favorite groups worthy of our support. Today, I introduce you to CFCA, incorporated internationally as either the Christian Foundation for Children and Aging or the Care Foundation for Children and Aging. My family supports a number of children and elders, and you can, too. Receive letters and photos from your sponsoree! More than 240,000 children around the world have great opportunities now, thanks to a CFCA sponsor. Without a doubt, your donation will change someone's life.

I can vouch for CFCA; in fact, I will be volunteering in April at the Hyderabad site in India, teaching English to working mothers. Read more about CFCA: "We help families in developing countries put food on the table and send their children to school so that, together, we can end the cycle of poverty."

And if you still need to be persuaded that your support can make a difference, make sure you go see the hit movie, "Slumdog Millionaire." Those two hours may well change your life. Here's a little snippet, to give you a taste of the film:

'Slum Dog Millionaire' Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

"Somewhere, Deep Inside of Me, Is Peace"

A very dear and old friend sent me a great, great Christmas letter, and I was so moved by her story, I asked her some questions about what changed, and for her permission to share her good news with all of you. She did a little tweaking, and agreed to the reprint I am posting here, with some uplifting photos from nature.

My friend has spent much of her adult life worrying, angry and consequently, depressed. I often felt bad after visiting her, wishing she would enjoy her life more. But as is often the case, she was wrapped up in her patterns and habits, and in some kind of negative rut.
BUT NO MORE! So, as a Christmas gift to all those who have felt trapped in a painful place, read on. You, too, can create a life of joy!
"No medicine. There are a lot of studies that day if you just muddle on, depression generally lifts in a few years all by itself. I think a lot of my new perspective is the result of the gradual removal of the stress of me always trying to beat this one or overcome this or that or fix whatever.

"And when my job ended a year ago, for awhile it was depressing not to go to work every day or have something to DO... and i still have some twinges of guilt. But then I realized that this is a taste of retirement, what everyone else is striving for and say they want and I ought to immerse myself in it and see how it feels.

"So I have tried to embrace having no expectations and no schedule and it is finally working. I have spent my working life, more than 30 years, being super stressed over my work, health and money etc etc.... and somehow that has lifted too. It is not that I am not still super frugal and concerned about my health - but I am not tortured by the absence of health insurance or a steady growth in my savings account.

"I am holding my own by living simply and selling some stuff on Craigslist and when I want something, buying used. But in terms of the bigger picture, I just don't CARE about all this stuff anymore. I still love my toys, but I feel freer now, that I can survive and will be taken care of, even if I am living in a cardboard box or my car somewhere. I am just not as bothered by all the "noise" of daily striving...

"And I just love this little house with Nature all around - the birds and the mountains and the horses out back and the house cat who never lets much of anything bother her! - just wants food, a spot in the sun on the bed and a little time outdoors hunting - SIMPLE.

"I am actually learning from the cat and the horses. They just ARE and their needs are simple and they live in the NOW. I am still in court with the land neighbor from hell who damaged my land in another part of the state - but even that is more like a learning lesson of me studying the law and figuring out how to represent myself - then it is some angry, tortured thing - although I do think about it far too much....

(see the baby tucked between the parents?)

"The one big obstacle is still my weight.. and I have been going to an adult class on methods to losing weight, but it is NOT connecting with my brain/life style yet... but I just can't beat myself up about that - I have to love and accept myself for all the good in me and the good I do and just let myself fail at something and keep trying quietly. Otherwise, I would be suicidal!!!
"So, maybe I am just getting older and smarter or more tired or ? I dunno.. but I am not so WORRIED as I was. I still do worry, but somewhere deep inside me is PEACE - or more of it than I had before. I am understanding that there is a lot to be said with "going with the flow" and just living each day.

"And I think a lot about what YOU said about CELEBRATING each day. Just be happy and let it all wash over me.... the hours, the sun, the wind, the rain, the snow.. GO WITH IT and not fight. Another big piece is my niece dying suddenly 2 or 3 yrs ago - that was a total shocker. We were close in age - and she had a tough life as a teen, but she had a good heart and died in a horrific car accident, possibly reaching for a cell phone, one her way to pick up her young son from day care. That flipped a switch inside me big time. I still deny she is dead and gone. But I am determined to be nicer, kinder, and ROLL IN EACH DAY like a happy horse or dog in fresh green grass and be grateful for all I have.... all I have worked for.... and for just being alive that day.

"UNDERSTAND, that I still sleep too much, get down on myself, get unreasonably angry with tangled extension cords and curse like a sailor with impatience and my incompetence when frustrated, but down deep, I AM CALMER and happy to wake up each day and do not much and I ENJOY that...
"And when people say, Do you want to travel or go on vacation etc? I say NO. I was running here and there for years and I am THRILLED to be in this beautiful small home with amazing views and the mountains and the cat and the horses that needs no real work - so easy to take care of the place compared to the big old Victorian that was partly ego driven, to have one of the biggest homes in town - and to just sit outside and listen to the birds and watch the sky change is a such a gift after working so darn hard for so many years in an office....

"People pay a fortune to come to Vermont and this town and relax in all seasons, why would I want to go somewhere else?? I have traveled. I prefer books and peace and quiet now. Even if I can't pay that in a couple years, and I have to sell this house, at least I had a nice time for a few years. I'll be fine.
"If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I had a good time. I did the best I could. I tried to make a difference. I was driven and hard working and funny and questioned authority and pompous asses and had some great friends. A good life! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!XO"

Take a Tee Hee Walk with Me!

So, I took a 7.5 mile walk today, and was totally entertained by the signs. At first glance, I thought the plaza advertised on the left was selling BLIND PUPPIES.




















And, if this tanning parlor thinks that promising people will get as dark as I, they have a real losing campaign going. I still look like a pasty white Vermonter!












What is fun about these two signs is that they are directly across the street from each other.


































I guess this sign suggests the order activities will occur....have a drink, then suddenly you're suddenly tousling hair and into a massage....
















As a vegetarian, I got a special kick out of the meat loving businesses along my walk. At this shop, the Universe is being thanked for a soda and dog....














And look what one of the drive-ins is offering as a Christmas present for the hungry....






















My friend, Alice Stewart, who will be 96 on her next birthday, is a meat eater (here we are at the Salvation Christmas dinner party) who remembers her mother singing out whenever someone said, "AMEN," at the end of grace:

"Amen, so let it be,
Pig's ass, very good meat."

What more can I write?!

Peek at the Week

In India, milk is boiled and lemon juice added to make paneer. Here in the US, we call paneer Cottage Cheese.

Using some wonderful hormone-free milk, I made my own cottage cheese this week. So easy; after you stir some lemon juice into the boiled milk, you simply let it sit and separate. Then, hang the cheese to let all the whey drip away. Yum! Soft and delicious...and simple.

Besides making my own cheese, I went on several walks. What happened to the big orange grove I used to pass? The grove I would sneak an orange from whenever I walked by? Look what I found stepping up on the curb...more stores.

Thinking about all the work that was spent on planting that orchard and caring for the trees, I felt sad seeing the parking lots. I also just felt bad for the trees themselves, still bearing such wonderful food...killed for another parking lot.

Finding the balance between consuming and appreciating is a great challenge for our nation, and for each of us as individuals. Whenever I think I need to buy something, I pause, breathe and ask myself, "Don't you already have what you need?"
I remember my friend, Velu, and I were in the small store in a Sivananda ashram a few years ago, in Neyyar Dam, southern India. Holding a book of Sivananda's talks, I stood debating about buying it. "Don't you already have a book?" Valu asked me.

A book? I thought. I have hundreds and hundreds.

I didn't buy the book. And I still have plenty of unread books to read.

May this be a Christmas season of appreciating, more than consuming. Let's celebrate all that we can share with others.

Happiness is...

My friend and fellow writer Abby Seixas sent a beautiful email today, part of which I excerpt here:

"So, let's talk about happiness. According to a recent study, happiness is contagious. The study concludes that, "happiness ripples well beyond a person's inner circle of friends and family, lifting the mood of an extended network of social contacts..." The Boston Globe, reporting on the study, says, "It seems obvious that your closest friends might influence your mood, but the study found that even the happiness of a friend's friend boosts your chance of being happy by 9.8 percent..." (Click here to read the complete Globe article.)
...As for how to define happiness, May Sarton does it exquisitely in The Work of Happiness, below. The last four lines of this poem are quoted at the beginning of Chapter 10 of my book because, to me, these lines describe the ripple effect of Deep River work. I have always wanted to share the whole poem, so here it is..."

The Work of Happiness

by May Sarton

I thought of happiness, how it is woven

Out of the silence in the empty house each day

And how it is not sudden and it is not given

But is creation itself like the growth of a tree.

No one has seen it happen, but inside the bark

Another circle is growing in the expanding ring.

No one has heard the root go deeper in the dark,

But the tree is lifted by this inward work

And its plumes shine, and its leaves are glittering.
So happiness is woven out of the peace of hours

And strikes its roots deep in the house alone:

The old chest in the corner, cool waxed floors,

White curtains softly and continually blown

As the free air moves quietly about the room;

A shelf of books, a table, and the white-washed wall--

These are the dear familiar gods of home,

And here the work of faith can best be done,

The growing tree is green and musical.
For what is happiness but growth in peace,

The timeless sense of time when furniture has stood a life's span in a single place,

And as the air moves, so the old dreams stir

The shining leaves of present happiness?

No one has heard thought or listened to a mind,

But where people have lived in inwardness

The air is charged with blessing and does bless;

Windows look out on mountains and the walls are kind.

Christmas Cantata at Salvation Army

We sang carols, listened to a tremendous brass band, watched a Christmas pagent and were entertained by the Little Angels choir....part of the Cantata performed Sunday night, December 14, at the New Port Richey (Florida) Salvation Army.
You can step into the sanctuary here! Watch the one little angel who couldn't quite get in the spirit, poor little fella.

Tuesday Album

I went on a bike ride around my neighborhood today....enjoy the beauty of Orchid Lake with me!

How Shall I Spend My Day?

Leaving my Vermont comfort zone in the winter (confession: actually, my Vermont discomfort zone, as the cold just stops me cold) offers me more benefits than the obvious sun, swimming and fresh vegetables.

Away from regular routines, responsibilities and relationships, I begin Florida days with a freshness and freedom: how do I want to spend my time?

What I am discovering, or rediscovering, is that I love going to church. Different churches. I just love worship, praise, prayer. I crave the hope that faith feeds me. I am strengthened by the good words. I haven’t been here a week yet, but I’ve walked to the Unity Church, St. James Catholic Church and the Salvation Army Center. I’ve also attended a Vespers service in the little retirement community where I stay. When I tell you these visits involved 15 miles of walking, I think you will share my delight in reaffirming just how important going to church is for me.

Yesterday’s bulletin at St. James included a beautiful reflection on Advent, which captures the power of church, and particularly Advent, for me. An excerpt:

“We are called to wait for God in a world which fosters instant gratification and waits for nothing. To meet this challenge we must identify what we are waiting for and open our hearts to allow God to do His work within. The main focus in all of the readings this week is metanoia - our call to conversion or change…. Conversion is not a short term commitment but rather a continual process which leads to inner peace, joy, and comfort.”

Deepening into this place of inner joy, peace and comfort, within myself, is a life long journey. For me, such comfort comes by truly getting to know and love and listen to myself….to that still small voice within.

Growing up in a Unitarian home where my father was the minister (he started serving the People’s Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan, when I was 5) it is true that just entering a church makes me feel at home. Beyond the initial familiarity I experience, I also love to be in community with people. Today, at the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, I watched a sweet father seated in front of me straining to catch his son’s eye, who was sitting with his class, many rows away. I also got a kick out of seeing the young mother cleaning up a bottle of something her son had spilled. The old couples who move as one, no longer needing language to communicate, were also beautiful.

Being Advent Season, which culminates in Christmas, it is especially nice to hear the music. This weekend, I’ve been invited to the Salvation Army Cantata, complete with chorus and brass band.

I’m helping with a church dinner on Wednesday night, because I truly relish time in church kitchens! (As a girl, I would go to church with my father on days other than Sunday and hope a bakery bag of leftover cookies just might be in the fridge.)

At the Unity Church, I selected a name of a resident who lives at the Assisted Living Center across the street from the Church. As her Secret Santa, I will bring some presents next Sunday. Church gives me a great context for service, and ultimately, being of service is where I find my greatest joy.

On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I’ve been invited to speak at the Park's Vespers service, and I will also enjoy preparing for this opportunity.

No, I haven’t been to any department stores or sales. I’ve been to the library twice, read one book and have started three more. Tomorrow morning, everyone on my street is going to breakfast together…so I will enter a restaurant. But, truth be told, being able to do whatever I want, I most likely will be found sitting in the sun or in a church.

From the Unity Advent booklet, Living in the Presence: The Promise of Christmas 2008:Thank you, God, for Your light within me. I let it shine now and in the days ahead as a light of faith, knowing that goodness and love are filling my life.

Dinner at Orchid Lake Travel Park

Your Bethany is in Paradise!
This morning, dear friend Marion took me to Three Sisters, a wonderful fresh vegetable market.

With our Vermont garden long gone by, it was amazing to see tables and tables of fresh tomatoes, romaine lettuce, spinach, celery, artichokes, carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans, garlic, onions, cabbage, green peppers, parsley...plus homemade feta cheese, fresh shredded parmasan and oh boy, giant Florida avocado. I bought all of the above.

In short...I'm on a Vegetarian High! Tonight, I steamed some green beans, crumbled feta and sliced a tomato. Wish you were here.

Beyond shopping and eating today(!)I also enjoyed two walks, finished unpacking my bags and getting reacquainted with neighbors. At the Park library, I found a book called, Eat and Heal, by Frank W. Cawood and Associates. In it, I learned of the American Institute for Cancer Research (ACIR) creating a healthy eating plan called The New American Plate: "Vegetables, fruits, whole grains and beans cover two-thirds or more of this plate." (page 3)

Having lived as a vegetarian for nearly 20 years now (hard to believe), this plate is most familiar, and here in Florida, it is absolutely bliss to fill it daily. Thank you, Florida farmers.

p.s. the grapefruit came right off the tree in my side yard. Another big thank you, to God Almighty!

Living Our Fable...Happy New Year!

Yes, according to our ancient Christian calendar, the Church’s New Year has begun, marked by the season of Advent.

Our lovely priest in Barton, Vermont, Father Sixmund of Tanzania, reminded us during Mass yesterday that the way to assure joy in Advent as well as in the New Year is through forgiveness.

Such a simple yet powerful formula: practice forgiveness and find joy.

Standing on the edge of the New Year, entering a season of preparation, I am still full of Thanksgiving gratitude. Last week, I gave thanks for family, friends, love, generosity, opportunities, adventure. And today I add, “I am thankful I practice forgiveness.”

Tomorrow morning, my husband drives me to the airport in Burlington, journeying to Florida, to warm friends and warm weather. How blessed I am to be able to leave the frozen North, following the sun south. Surely, many women would like to have this chance: to have a marriage grounded in freedom and love! We don’t own each other, we encourage each other.

Arranging for a winter spent in Florida and India required some long range planning and creativity. CNN news personality Rachel Maddow says that, when planning to chase a big change or dream, fear and anxiety can have no place or sway. “It’s not about any of that. It’s about the fable you want to write about your own life.”

Writing my own fable? I’ll work on it. I know it is about a woman who forgives, loves, experiences joy, shares, learns, works, cares and believes.

Tonight, celebrating the New Year, I look back at what has been as I regard an exhale: the used up, spent energy I have let go of. I look forward and see the inhale, the big new deep full breaths I will seek in the days ahead.

Between this exhale and inhale is a quiet place, a space or pause where I need do nothing but BE. Happy New Year, dear friends! May you find great serenity and comfort in the space and pauses between yesterday and tomorrow….in this moment, in the present. Today.
An added bonus for December 1: Look in the night sky, see the moon, Venus and Jupiter in conjunction! So beautiful. Some scholars suggest a similar bright gathering is what created the sense of a Star in the East, in Bethlehem, some 2008 years ago.

Preparation & Opportunity= Luck

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. That comes from Seneca, the Roman philosopher who was born in 5 B.C. It'll be worth repeating for another two thousand years, at least." (Page 147, Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture.)

I read Pausch's short book this week, a gift from my Book Angel, John. (Thanks, John!) Pausch is the late Carnegie Mellon computer science professor who penned his lecture (and companion book) when he realized he had just months to live, because of pancreatic cancer. Dying before he hit age 50, and leaving three very young children, Pausch none the less experienced marvelous milestones.

One key to his personal success and happiness was that he achieved his childhood dreams. I'm writing tonight as I think about luck and childhood dreams.

My family, church and Girl Scouts led me early on into a personal identity of Citizen of the World. A childhood dream was that I could help lots and lots of people in need, that I would travel around the globe.

I loved Halloween, not just because I could be an exotic gypsy and eat unlimited chocolates, but because I collected pennies for UNICEF. I loved knowing those coins would buy vaccines and rice for children in faraway lands.

According to UNICEF, "The tradition of 'Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF' began in 1950 in the United States when Philadelphia school children first went door-to-door at Halloween collecting money in decorated milk cartons to help the world's children.

They raised a grand total of $17, kicking off a campaign that has since brought in more than $188 million to provide medicine, better nutrition, clean water, education, emergency relief and other support to children in more than 160 countries."

Another childhood dream was to bake. As a girl, one of my specialties was a kind of fried donut hole called "darned goods." (made with Bisquick and learned at Camp Merrie Woode.) I began making pies in high school with my friend Rachel Cain, and I've never stopped. Apple pies are one my standards, served to both son and husband, upon request, on their birthdays.

I considered Seneca's formula and came up with this:

Preparation: loving children of the world and baking. Working hard, being debt free and able to travel, having a husband who supports my World Citizenship.

Opportunity: my dear friend Sujata, in India, inviting me to work in her new coffee shop this winter; as a baker, with all shop proceeds supporting the poor and homeless of her nation.

Luck: I begin working in Sujata's cafe in late January 2009 in southern India.(How's this for rather astounding? Sujata's son has a PhD from the department Pausch taught in at Carnegie Mellon. I'll have to find out if he took classes from Pausch.)

Yes, this is great and good luck, but it is also something more: A BLESSING. I know I am not simply lucky. I am blessed beyond measure to live this winter in the land I love, devoting myself to others in great need, doing something incredibly fun, with a friend I love dearly. So, Seneca, I want to tamper with your formula. A blessing is what happens when preparation and opportunity meet the desires of the heart.

Making Change: Fresh Start Day

I heard about a Halloween costume someone wore last month; a black suit with nickles, dimes and quarters glued all over it...."Change you can count on!" was what the wearer declared.

In my book, For Goodness' Sake: A Daily Book of Cheer for Nurses' Aides and Others Who Care, I wrote this entry about change for February 1:

"A new month. A perfect time for giving yourself and others a fresh start. If you're like most of us, the New Year's resolutions you made just 32 days ago have long been forgotten. It just seemed too hard to make changes, didn't it?
"Quitting smoking, being more patient, losing weight, or wrestling down the addiction alligator are never easy. In fact, when we work to improve ourselves, life can feel tough and hard.
"But like the kid who falls for the hundredth time when she's learning to ice skate, we just need to keep the faith and try again.
"What have you disappointed yourself about? When did you let yourself down? Rather than pouring your energy into guilt or worse yet, self hatred, declare today your 'fresh start day.'
"In most towns, the public library declares that one day a year, people can return library books that are incredibly overdue. Years overdue. And on that day, usually called 'amnesty day', all is forgiven. No fines are levied. The librarian is just happy to have the books back in circulation.
"Put your guilt and disappointment on the shelf and get back into circulation. Today is a grand day to begin again.
"TODAY: Make a fresh start"

But sometimes, change is just darn hard, no matter how much we say or think we want it.

I remember playing Monopoly with my brothers, it seemed I could not win. Within a few rounds of the board game, my brother Tim would own tons of property that I was forever landing on. I would end up with Baltic Avenue, or some other low priced real estate. If Tim landed on it, he would hand me a $500 bill to pay his $4 rent and sneer, "Make Change!"
Yes, MAKING CHANGE IS HARD TO DO. Particularly when it isn't your idea, you can't regulate the time or pace, and you fear your importance or involvement may be diminished in the new configuration.

Yet, when we practice the Art of Possibility, and see that nothing is stagnant, that change is constant and inevitably, great moments can occur. I believe the secret is to believe in our own ability to deal with whatever comes up...and just take the plunge. If we can believe in ourselves and confidently face the change, the experience can actually be fun. We must also believe in the very ideas we offer up: let us recognize that we are not the creator of ideas. We are merely the messengers.

Let's take a lesson from nature. Every day, the world is changing, evolving, moving from one season to another. May we move with grace from this known moment to the unknown next. And may we always remember that our views and gifts are needed by the Universe.